Write and Create – 20 minute short story.
One day I decided to become fearless. Who am I writing for, who am I creating for?
Me, right! Does it matter if someone enjoys what I write or create? No! The fear is lifted! Many have written and created before me and many will after me too! Let the writing and creating begin. I am free and I am fearless.
So, with this thought I enter the jungle, full of beautiful butterflies, wild birds, heinous hyenas, delicately dancing deer, the gentle gurgling of the brook, the energetic jumping of the frogs, the slimy slithering of the worms, the hot and burning rays of the sun. The forest is alive, wonderful, inviting, sensational and all embracing. It is a joy, a fear, an uplifting of the spirit, the dread of the dark… endless, always endless.
There, the night falls. All is tranquil, quiet, serene, a tad too quiet. I listen, is there a sound of the leaves rustling? Is there a mouse or an equally small creature, scampering for last minute shelter? What is that I hear now? Is it the moon speaking to me? I look up. There it is sharing the light of the sun and shining bright through the myriads of leaves on the trees. It looks somewhat sinister, but is that simply my imagination? My mind plays games. After all, whatever the moon will say to me comes from somewhere within me. So, the question arises, what am I thinking?
Lo, behold, now I cannot see the moon, it’s hiding behind a huge cloud. But the cloud has a beauteous shape. It looks like a mermaid! Is there a mermaid in the sky? Well, all is possible right! It is all in my mind and my mind can create and write whatever it wishes to. Now the mermaid smiles at me. I want to believe it is a sweet, innocent smile, but alas, it is not! As she smiles her mouth turns upwards, her eyeballs recede into her eyes and she looks like she is accessing some astral planes. I look at this image, mesmerised at the piercing eyes looking straight at me. Then she smiles, it is a smile that knows. It is a smile that can solve the mystery. But,what is the mystery? My mind takes a somersault. It is reeling with confusion, with anxiety, with the profound desire to solve the mystery. The mermaid knows and she also knows that I don’t know.
I move away, slowly to begin with and then my pace gets faster until I am beginning to run. Running in search of something or running away from someone. My legs are carrying me so fast, I almost feel like I am flying. Oh, shall I take off then. My feet lift off the ground, higher and higher up towards the unknown. I am flying! Is it possible, could I be? I look down, and there is the beautiful forest far, far below. I look up and find myself staring straight at the mermaid! My mind screams, “what, this is not happening, is it really possible”? I am afraid to stop flying in case the magic is lost. Don’t be afraid a voice says to me, fear freezes, desire frees. So, keep the fire lighting, keep the magic alive, keep the desire to fly burning, keep going.
The journey becomes one of circling the mermaid. I cannot help but go around and around the mermaid, all the time my eyes locked into hers. She is keeping me captivated and enthralled at the same time. Suddenly I see her lips move. She is saying something to me. But what is she saying? The sound of the air around us is not carrying her words, or is she not saying anything I am meant to hear? I pay attention, I want to know. She begins to laugh at my chagrin. It becomes a roaring laughter, loud and overwhelming. I cannot make out whether she is a friend or a foe. Is she both at the same time?
Without a warning, this mysterious mermaid reaches out her arms towards me. Her slim, delicate fingers beckon me closer to her. I feel like I have known her for the longest of times, but at the same time she also feels very distant. What do I make of this sentiment? Tears well up in my eyes, I feel frustrated, angry and impatient. I want so badly to just know, to become, be free of my angst. I take a deep breath in and step out. I step out of myself. I see the rigid, tense, tight jawed being that I am. I make a conscious decision. I reset. I take another deep breath in and close my eyes. I watch vigilantly at each cell in my body becoming more and more relaxed.
Now, I get disturbed again! I see a bird, an injured bird. I don’t want to be distracted, but the bird needs me. It is suffering immensely. The need of the bird is urgent, I must respond, I must help. I fly towards the bird with the clipped wings and without warning it comes towards me and rests in my outstretched palms. I see its little heart beating. I see the anguish, the pain, the suffering in the eyes. But what else do I see – hope! I see the will to survive and to serve. I hear the bird whispering in my ear, “save me, help me, I have two babies in the nest and they are waiting for me”! I bring the bird close to my heart and as I do that, I become the bird. I have become the bird. We are one – no separation. My energy merges with the energy of the bird. I feel every emotion so strongly, that I have no choice but to become calm and heal. I have no idea how long we stay like that for and eventually the bird flies away. I watch it go and my heart soars to heights I did not know exist. I know the bird will be fine.
But where is the mermaid? I had forgotten about her. I look around. I am still high above the clouds. My mind wants to look downwards to gauge how far up I am. However, every fibre in my body tells me to look upwards to see how far up I can soar and who else I can meet on my journey. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and begin to fly. I have wings, the wind is behind me. I am going so fast, shooting upwards and then…
It is dark, pitch dark. My eyes are open, but I cannot see anything. I am not on my feet, I am crawling, slowly. I can feel moist soil underneath me. My hands and feet are damp and feel like they are covered in mud. Where am I? A moment ago, I was flying, or was that a long time ago? Time and space do not exist in my existence. They do not make sense, or are they amalgamated into each other? Are they one and the same thing? I blink hard and stop my reflection. I need to find a way out from this dark, damp and narrow space. I need to know where I am. There is no space to even turn around. I simply have to keep edging forward. How did I get here? I go back inside my mind. I am safe there. I know this place I have been here many times before.
Suddenly, there is light, a beautiful, bright and clear light. I look into the light and to my delight I see a clear flowing river meandering effortlessly in the valley. The mountains on both sides of the river are majestic, powerful and tall. The sun is just beginning to rise, willing me to connect with a new day, a new way and a new life. New beginnings happen each time the sun rises, but we forget. I love the log on which I am sitting. It is firm and I balance gracefully and easily as I float down the river bathing in the rising sun. As I float a huge, mammoth figure rises up in front of me. The water is still, this is not a wave. The creature is translucent and I am slowly and steadily going towards it. My heart beats fast. Will I get thrown off the log as I manoeuvre this creature? My pulse is racing as I near it. I decide to calm, calm, calm and look into its eyes. The eyes are gentle, soft, understanding, loving and compassionate. Will I be able to simply pass through it? Now it changes shape, the head becomes double its original size and the shape begins to turn a light sky blue in colour. I am being pulled towards it like a magnet. I have no idea what to expect. All my senses leave me. They are not interested in engaging in this emotion. I am alone. But who is the “I” that is alone? There is no sense of “I” left. With one sudden jolt I am drawn into this shape. I have been pulled into the rotation of this energy. I am submerged totally into this whole. There is no separation yet again. I have no time to think, to ponder, to analyse, rationalise or make any logical sense of what is happening. I am just there going round and round. Even though I have no control I feel a sense of quiet peace. I feel safe, loved, honoured, protected and nurtured. I am not afraid.
Surrender! I had not been given a choice. I had been forced, but I am eternally grateful for this gift. I get thrown out of the shape just as magically as I had been drawn into it. I look back to see only the calm flowing water. Where is the mammoth shape that had just engulfed me so completely? I look back again. Did I imagine this experience? Did I imagine it all? Is this a postcard from the past? Is it a forewarning about the future?
The waves are getting higher now. I am beginning to lose my balance. I hold on tight as the sun gets lost behind thick black clouds. The elements are changing their colour. A dark and ominous storm is brewing up. Thunder, rain and storm are making their way into the valley. I lose control, I fall off the log! I am drowning. I begin to panic and swim, to flap my arms around hoping to hold on to something. I see the log going further and further from me. I breathe heavily and swallow water. I put up a fight to survive. It is a natural instinct for us when we incarnate. We need to survive. We need to breathe. My panic state results in more water being swallowed. I am losing. I cannot fight the elements. I must embrace it and surrender. I must work with the water and become one with its energy. Once again, I give in. I simply decide to let the flow take me where ever it needs to. To my amazement, the moment I had this thought, the sky cleared up again. I look up and see the mermaid. This time she looks at me like a loving, kind grandmother. Her wisdom shines through to her face. As though she is saying to me that I have finally taken the first step towards understanding surrender.
As the sun reaches the highest point of the day I begin to submerge into the water. I am still in mind and body. I allow myself to drift downwards, my eyes closed at first. Something urges me to open my eyes under water as I descend towards the core of Mother Earth. I look around me in total amazement. It is not dark as I would have expected. I am surrounded by glowing, pure, sparkling light. I see the sea creatures so clearly. They ignore me completely, as though seeing a human being this deep under the currents of the water is the most natural thing for them. As they meander in and out through the seaweeds and the sea plants, they sometimes do look quizzically at me. I am not at all fazed either by being there or by their interest. I am breathing most normally in a fishlike manner when all of a sudden, my feet touch ground! The shock of this sends shiver up and down my spine and I fail to fathom where I am. Far ahead I see glowing fire and there are people dancing around the fire! My mind cannot conceptualize this. I blink hard and look again. Not only am I standing under the surface of the earth within the folds of water, but there is also fire blazing on one side.
My eyes fall on a pair of feet not far from where I am standing. Who do the feet belong to? Beautiful, slim, glowing feet standing steadfast on the surface make me nervous and at the same time excited. I walk towards these pious looking feet. There are many gemstones, precious stones and crystals surrounding these feet. They are sparkling bright and pure. I am totally mesmerised and drawn towards them. I walk toward the feet with a compulsion that I don’t recognise. I cannot stop myself. These beautiful feet do not belong to a body, but they are alive. They are certainly alive, because as I near them, I can see their gentle movement. I am captured. They have a strong hold on me. I could not escape if I tried.
I sit down. I should be totally exhausted, but I am not. I am exhilarated, excited, energised and totally joyous. Is this the power I am receiving from the gemstones or from the feet? I sit there for a while, under the surface of the earth, surrounded by water, sea life and a glowing fire. I am breathing. I have air. It all seems unrealistic. Am I going insane, should I be in anguish and worried?
I feel something crawling on my feet. I am surrounded by strange looking creatures that look like a cross between snakes and worms. There are millions of them. They have green eyes and slimy bodies with heads that are too large for their little bodies. They are all different colours and seem to have fins on them. Their tails are lashing at my body and beginning to hurt and make wounds. They begin to crawl up my legs and make their way up my body. I try and brush them away. I stand up and stamp on them. I am desperate and scared. I look towards the feet and see if they will lift to help me. I try and shout to the men dancing around the fire, but my voice is caught in my throat from fright. My eyes begin to roll upwards from fear and I begin to hyper-ventilate. Surely, this is where my adventure will end. I cannot get out of the grip of these creatures stifling me. I cannot breathe now! My mind begins to give up. I cannot give up. I have to survive. That is my natural instinct. I find my courage. I find my voice and I scream the loudest raw sound I have ever heard. I roar with a sound that is not coming from my chest but the very core of my existence. It is the sound of a survivor, fearless and courageous. I challenge the creatures. I will not give up. I begin to dance in frenzy and somehow reach the people dancing by the fire. I am at one with the elementals. I am possessed by the desire to survive and thrive. Suddenly, I drop onto my knees in complete fatigue. My face is muddied, feet bleeding and my body injured. There are tears rolling down my eyes. I bury my face in my hands as I lie in the sand. At this juncture I do not know whether I am alive or dead. I am so tired I don’t really care.
I look up. The fire is still blazing. The people have all stopped dancing. They are standing still and staring at me. My eyes meet their eyes but they are blank. I look at my body, the creatures have all disappeared. I get up on my knees, lift my arms up and look upwards to see the calm waters still above me. I stay still for a long time and finally it gets a little boring. I begin to get restless for more adventures. My mind tells me to enjoy the calm before the storm. I settle, breath and wait…
With a sudden jolt, very quickly I am being propelled upwards as though by a jet engine! The shock waves go through my entire body without any warning. I am going upwards towards the surface of the water, past it, into the air. My body is A-line, my arms by my side and I am straight like a stick. My hair flies around my face uncontrollably. I cannot look below and see the water, the land, the mountains and the tree or any of the beauty of mother nature. I just look ahead until I land somewhere with a big thud. My head is spinning from this unnatural journey. I take a deep breath, open my eyes and look around. I am sitting on the top of a tree on a small leaf. This is impossible. I am big and heavy and the leaf is small and delicate. How can this leaf carry my weight? It takes me a long time to realise and accept that the journey up to the tree has shrunk me and made me as small as a human thumb. Now I am little and light. Did I do this with my mind? Can I adjust and take on whatever shape or size I want with my mind. Can the mind be this powerful?
It is dark, the sky is midnight blue with many stars sparking around me. I am cold and scared. How long can I stay perched on this tall tree on top of the mountain, so near to the midnight sky? I stare at the stars. Millions of them sparkling and shining. I want to reach out and touch a star. I feel I could reach them if I put my hand out. My mind tells me this is not possible. I cannot touch a star. It is unbelievable. I sit frozen by my doubt.
As I look hard, I see the faintest lines connecting each star to the other. This is the first time I have seen the stars being connected to each other. The lines look like flimsy light threads that are translucent and clear. Maybe I can’t reach the star, but could I at least reach out and touch the line. I put a hand out tentatively and touch the nearest line to me. It feels warm and bouncy, like it has a magical energy flowing through it. I tug at the line gently and it moves towards me whilst still connected to the nearest star. I want to step on it. I look all around me at the darkness. If I were to step on to a line and lose my balance how far would I fall? Now I am terrified, gripped by my rational mind that tells me this is all ridiculous. The fear I feel is making me go inwards and recoil into complete inaction. I stare at the lines and the stars for eternity.
Oh, eternity! Is that what exists at the end of these stars all connected with bouncy fine lines? I must reach eternity. I must take the risk, I must believe. I stand up, stretch my legs and slowly put one foot on the delicate line. Then my fear overtakes me again and I try and pull my foot back and get back to the safety of the leaf. Suddenly, I feel a push, a jerk from behind. I reach out towards the line to steady myself and get my balance. I find myself on all fours on the line. I feel terrorised at my predicament. I look back and the leaf is no longer there and neither is the tree. How is this happening? Tear roll down my eyes at my helplessness. Where am I? Nothing but, stars and darkness around me.
I have two choices, either to jump down and see where I land, or to stand up and begin walking. I do that which comes so naturally to me. I stand up and begin walking! Slowly and tentatively, I put one foot in front of the other. I remind myself, that is all I need to do is to take one step at a time. As I keep going, I begin to get more confident. Now it feels like I am walking in a park on solid ground. I get so confident, I begin to skip along on this frail, bouncy line. After the longest of times, I reach a star. It is bewitching, warm and inviting. I want to enter it and go straight through it. I brace myself for whatever might come next and step into to. It is freezing. I am surrounded by a cold and mystical air. I don’t want to stop here too long so I keep going and step out into the adjoining line where it is much warmer and familiar. I go through many stars each colder but more hypnotic than the previous one. I realise that I am cruising aimlessly in the night sky. Dark, alluring, spell binding and enchanting. I begin to day dream and get lost in my own thoughts. As I stare into nothing my eyes catch a glimpse of something larger. What is that I see in the distance? It is much bigger than a star. It is sparkling very bright and seems to me like it is sending me a signal. The lights blink once, then twice and then three times. They do this repeatedly. Is it a message for me? I compulsively begin to walk towards this light. As I get near, I notice it is becoming larger. When I get close enough, I realise it is a room made of glass. I stumble, topple over and lose my balance. Now I am standing on the line on one leg with the other leg dangling into nothing. I am terrified, totally shell shocked at seeing this feature in front of me, balancing on a line which we can barely see with the naked eye. My hand reaches out to hold onto something to bring my balance back and I realise that I am holding a door handle made of glass. I pull the door handle and in an instant, I am thrown into the glass room.
I lie there for the longest of time, with a plethora of emotions going through me. I cannot make sense of anything. This is not rational. I have never come across these kinds of absurd experiences. I have no desire to move even an eyelid. I close my eyes and drift away. My mind begins to slow down and the thoughts begin to dissipate. I have a sense of complete quiet and peace. I can feel the subtle shut down of my entire body. I am happy and perfectly in surrender. I decide to become a vessel for the universe to go through me. I surrender my body, my mind and my soul. I am free…